melanie over at onlyabreath.com made this! so cool.

• clear is not the same as “clean”; especially with regard to love. i recognize that love gets messy; i mean clear in the sense that my love is obvious.
• i wrote, “Lord, i want to spend my time clearly”, which i have interpreted as little to no multitasking. crap, i might as well say i’m going to drop 2 dress sizes.
• clear as in transparent and direct. consider this is my advance apology for being blunt.
• in my understanding of clear, i don’t expect complete comprehension of a situation or knowing exactly what’s ahead. rather, i seek to perceive what’s right before me, as it is, as God shows it to me. no more presumptions of where i stand with certain people, of the meaning behind vague sets of circumstances.

no more nuance, i’m over overanalysis, and i’m dieting from “what if”s this year, Jesus. i know you’re mysterious and stuff but whenever possible, please be captain obvious.

God, i need lots of grace as i keep my life clutter-free; cutting down and cleaning up have not been my forte.

and just ’cause i like this movie very much:

are we clear?

crystal.

(continued from yesterday)

tuesday night. i add another word to the list:

abide.

i sense that for all my life, i’ll rest in and wrestle with what it means to do that: abide.

next, i think about the word

set;

the way a gem is to a ring or a pendant.

the past two years have been full of transition; i’ve been as nomadic as one be — housing, employment, community — for not having traveled beyond the east coast of the u.s. all of 2011. perhaps this is the year things will settle down; this is the year i will further set myself inside God’s heart and among his people.

or not quite yet.

then i thought about

simplify.

but that, too, felt like a lifelong everest for me to climb.

as i prayed and prayed, my mind got muddled so i jotted down the thoughts that cluttered.

• how i’ve been spending money.
• the work routine i’m still refining (like, how much time to i spend on various types of tasks?).
• thoughts to expound upon on this blog.
• the things i plan to finish this year.
• what happens after this job (how long will i be working “here”)?
• menfolk.
• odpc’s upcoming spring evangelism conference and outreach.
• my role in the missions committee.
• belonging / in whom to invest more time?

then like sunrise, my supplications spilled from my pen and my one word for 2012 emerged:

ta da!

’twas the frontrunner early on but God made it more apparent as i was praying and journaling:

Lord, i want to see (you more) clearly

Lord, i want to act clearly

Lord, i want to communicate clearly

clarify who isn’t “him”

clarify my desires

clear off debt

clear away envy

clear away fear

clear away lies

clear space & time for what truly matters

clearer outpouring of Holy Spirit — into me, through me

a clear path

a clear call

live clearly

love clearly

hear more clearly…

to borrow the six definitive words of my brother’s favorite tv show:

clear eyes. full hearts. can’t lose.

now it’s your turn; what’s your one word for the remaning 360 days of 2012?

i’ve not really been one to make resolutions and i’ve been worse at keeping them.

chalk it up to being enfp — easily inspired, inept at execution (not that i offer that as an excuse or cop-out). i typically resolve things like:

• lose weight
• read through the bible (i got as far as joshua).
• debt-free/significant debt-reduction (well, car got paid off last year, a huge win!)

i liked these sets of resolutions re: dating. i’m in that age cohort (read: my peers are married, getting married, making babies, raising said babies) and i work from home, so i have to be much more deliberate about meeting (new) men, at least being more open to it. anyways…

then there’s the desire for increased intimacy with God and growth in my understanding of him, in ministry, in my gifts, et al. but those are default resolutions for like, everyday, so designating them as new year’s resolutions is redundant. let’s just establish those as life resolutions.

thanks to my boss and this writer (just noticed both their names begin with a. why did i feel the need to note that? and why against my better judgment am i leaving that thought here instead of deleting it? that’s what happens when i try to multi-task), i was made more aware of one word 365, pioneered by this fellow native new yorker.

each of the aforementioned folks (and others, like him, him, & her) are declaring some money words that i feel could apply to my yearlife. i made the silly-in-hindsight assumption that repeats aren’t allowed; that is, my one word can’t be the same as someone else’s.

see? ridiculous.

so i manage to mangle this rather straightforward, simple (which isn’t synonymous with easy, of course) concept into this mental mess:

pressure to be utterly novel & unique

+ future-orientation

+ aversion to making mistakes

+ indecision

+ clumsiness with details/follow-thru

+ chronic logorrhea

= overwhelmed by prospect of selecting just one word of all the words of the english language to shape the next 365 (this is four days overdue) 360 (2012 = leap year!) 361 days.

after days or a week+, the breakthrough came as i asked God, ever faithful, at prayer meeting this week (during which the list actually grew, hah)! but since this post is already quite long, i’ll share it tomorrow…

can you guess which of these made the final cut?